If I were an animal I would choose to be a ……., because………..

A duck. Because they're awesome. Other kinds of water birds would be ok too.
Why else can fly AND swim? Nobody! If I could be some kind of shape-shifting water bird that would be cool because they are everywhere. They're in Colorado, Alaska, Mexico, Africa, Florida, the Arctic, Brazil...
They can stay warm or cool.
They can decide if they feel like walking, flying, or swimming.
People don't eat them all that often.
They're cute.
They QUACK and make other hilarious noises.

The downside would be that I don't like fish, which lots of them eat. But...if I was a bird I suppose I might like different things. I rarely see them eating a good cheeseburger.

(I wouldn't want to be a legit penguin though. They are awesome but their lives are terrible. Maybe a zoo penguin. They get to hang out all day and eat. That's my kind of deal. Or like a penguin owned by a celebrity. You'd get your own pool or something.)

 

If I were a superhero my special power would be……

I'd be a boring superhero.
If I could have a special power, I'd want to be able to speak, read, write, and fully comprehend any language or form of communication that has ever existed.
I'd be able to decipher historical documents and lost languages. I'd be able to talk to people from remote tribes and preserve dying languages. I'd be able to more comfortably navigate any country in the world.
AND...I'd be able to communicate with animals.
If you have a broad definition of "language" and "communication" then it'd also include programming languages and the like. I could do EVERYTHING.

What's for breakfast?

Let me tell you about my recent trip to IHOP.
First, the girl who was on her way out came out of the bathroom with her stuff, ready to leave. She saw nobody was anywhere so she seated us. That's the professional thing to do. She also got us different silverware when she realized she was holding her shoes AND our silverware in the same hand. At least she thought about it.
We sat next to the only other people in the ginormous restaurant. I could have done with just 1 table over but...whatever. I learned a lot about some girl's dog and it's bathroom habits.

The end-of-her-shift hostess said, "your server.............will be right with you...I can't remember his name." I suspect she went to look up his name because when she came back she yelled at Joshua in the kitchen to tell him he had people to tend to.
Awkward Joshua took our order. No problem.
I got one of my favorites- the ham and cheese melt with hashbrowns.
It took longer than I thought it might considering there was ONE other table of people in the restaurant. One.
Jason got chicken and waffles. These are not complex dishes but I don't mind waiting.
It seems that they may have cooked my hashbrowns within the first 3 minutes of us ordering and then left them sitting on the counter while they cooked everything else.
I've literally never had food served to me that cold before that was supposed to be hot.
The cheese on my ham and cheese MELT was not fully melted but at least the eggs were warm.
Thankfully, we were using a gift card and our meal only cost a couple bucks plus tip. That's all it was worth.
The toasted marshmallow hot chocolate was worth the couple bucks. I recommend it.
I also recommend skipping the Longmont IHOP unless you go when it's more busy.
One little old lady and a guy came in as we were leaving. She had to put on a sweater because it was so cold.
IHOP fail. I'm disappointed. Good thing we have the best breakfast place ever to make up for it. 

Some shout outs and details

If you were wondering where we got some of our pirate gear and other things for the wedding, you can find that here. If you don't care where it came from then this isn't the thing for you.

We'll start at the top- our AMAZING hats were made by The Pirate's Wife in the UK. They are not cheap but they will last for the rest of our lives. We even changed colors on her and she just went with it. She makes awesome things! Just before ours she was working on hats for a movie but we aren't allowed to know which one yet.

The outfits- Jason's was from Beowolf (aka Bosswench) at the Colorado Renaissance Festival. His boots were from Caboots; the same ones Captain Jack wears in Pirates of the Caribbean.
My top half (the shirt and bodice) was from Unicorn Clothing at the Renaissance Festival. My amazing skirt was made by the great and wonderful Judy MomGyver! Could it have been any more perfect?? My shoes...well they came from Ross.

Our DJ- I was referred to Springs Sounds by Suzy, my wedding person at the hotel where we had our reception. (She was awesomely helpful and I would have lost my mind without her help.)
Our DJ was Earl and I just loved him. I was texting him the morning of the wedding with last minute stuff, after only meeting the one time and getting a few details sorted over Facebook, and he assured me he'd get it done and everything would be taken care of. He totally rocked everything and is a delightful human in general! Springs Sounds did everything we hoped for and I'd certainly use them again if I had any need to.

Our cake- Another referral from Suzy was Sugarplum Cake Shoppe. The ladies there were super nice and I was so glad we did a tasting. We would have picked totally different stuff had we not gone in and stuffed ourselves with sugar.
They created something totally unique and adorable for us and, from what I hear, it went over very well! As a secondary surprise, we discovered that our topper was also a rice krispie treat! We ate that for days and it was delicious.

The Academy Hotel had a few bumps in the road during out stay but overall they did a pretty great job. I'll still look forward to going back for the waffles. It's practically like home now. 

Where are you registered?

Ok, so we're not registered anywhere.* We don't really NEED anything, nor should anyone feel obligated to give us anything.
We need a home. We've got the stuff to put in it. We are hoping to save up for a honeymoon next year so any addition to that fund would be gratefully accepted.

I've told my mom some little stuff that we'd like but since it's too hard for us to register in one place, here are some ideas for things we may like, need, or use. I will add on if/when we discover something new.

*We are technically "registered" at Target but...there are only Legos on the list. Because we like Legos.

• I recently added a registry at Bed, Bath, & Beyond- because it's pretty awesome and with our impending move, we may find some things we need! Click here to view it.

I really like roosters in my kitchen.

• We'd like an airpurifier with reusable/permanent filters. Such as this one at Home Depot.

• Movie passes- Boulder (Cinemark), Loveland (Metrolux), or Longmont (eventually, Regal. It's not done yet.)

• Breakfast/Lunch/Coffee/Dinner dates- Mike O'Shays, Flavor of India, Ragazzi, Pinocchios, Texas Roadhouse, Santa Fe Coffee & Burrito Café, Ziggi's, La Vita Bella, Old Chicago's, Santiagos, Tres Margaritas, China Panda, Efrains, Dickens, Basil Flats, Noodles, Thai Kitchen, Leenie's Café, IHOP, Red Robin, Sun Rose Café, Mod Market, TGIFridays, Cheese Importers, Racheli's, Snarfs, Panera, Smashburger, DQ, Scrumptious, clearly we're not too picky...

• Spices, spice mixes, recipes.

• Handmade soap, especially goat soap. We love the one that's sometimes at the Longmont farmers market- http://gmsoaps.com/

• We both like pretty much everything at Crystal Joys in Longmont.

• Store gift cards are always welcome. We frequent, or have access to, some of these places-

Target, Ross,Walmart, King Soopers/Kroger, Michaels, Hobby Lobby, Bed Bath & Beyond, Best Buy, Kohls, Barnes & Noble, World Market, Amazon, Hot Topic

• We like to frequent the Longmont Rec Center. I don't know if it's possible to give punches to someone but, hey, give it a try if you wanna. I've got a 20-punch membership under my name but we're about out.

• We need a toolbox. Seriously. It's a problem. 

Hopefully that is helpful for anyone who needed an idea. :)
We like local, we like unique, we like to go out on the town!

Those who I can't invite

I can't help but wonder how things would be if my grandma was still around. Or even if I'd seen more of her before she died. Things were very weird then. I can't even explain how it resulted in less communication with her, but that was one result. It wasn't necessary. Things have kept their weirdness and it has increased. It's troubling but should lessen pretty soon because I'll change things.
Specifically, as of late, I've wished grandma was here to partake in some of this wedding stuff going on.
(I feel like I've written ALL of this before so....you know...if you're bored you can just go away.)
I feel like there would be more fun and less stress in the planning if grandma was helping. I just assume she'd be helping. And she'd be having fun. Because that's what she did. I guess I'd be looking forward to it a little more overall if I knew she'd be there.
I also know that if my friend Deb was still here, she'd be excited about everything too. She'd go on errands and quests with me. She'd listen. She'd probably even show up since her social anxiety seemed to be less than in past years. It's an important thing so she'd buck up and hope for the best, I'd think. She'd be excited about the cake. She'd be worried about what to wear.
Everything seems so disconnected. People are helping but things just rarely feel quite right. I don't know how to explain that either. Just over 50 days now. Hopefully I can get a lot to come together in the next few weeks. We'll have the food sorted out, the clothes (hopefully) sorted out, and a couple things checked off the list. That'll be nice.
Since I can't actually describe anything here I guess I don't have much more to tell about it.
I just think life would be more comfortable if things were how they used to be. Not perfect, but at least as expected. Things preserved, things not awkward. It would be nice. I'm not sure I'd be able to get her to dress like a pirate though...
I mean, I probably could have but THAT I can't quite imagine.
Since they won't be there, then part of me won't be there. It's the part that comes out when you're around someone specific. If they aren't there then it's dormant. There will be elements that are similar but I think every relationship with another human is unique. It's like that movie that came out, Inside Out, with the little personified feelings. The one that's the little "grandma is here"  or "Deb is here" dude is retired. He doesn't show up anymore. Only in dreams and memories. 

I value manners, not etiquette.

The wedding invites are all sent. For better or worse. There are people who didn't get invites that may have wanted invites. There are people who didn't get invites that may have expected invites.
This is not because anyone is unwelcome at our wedding. This is because people expect payment for hosting a wedding. Most friends understand this but it still bugs me. If you've kept up with my ranting you are WELL aware of my guest list struggle. I'm glad I never have to do it again.
There are a few people who may get messages from me on this topic. If I can put out a last minute invite, I'll do it. Why not? It's a party. It's not proper or whatever but who cares. It's all reigned in because of money anyway. That's lame. I mean, sure, we could have done a pot luck wedding but it's just not what we had in mind. We're fancy and we're gonna take this one-time opportunity to do something a little fancy and overboard.
I had rules about who I was able to invite and I already overlooked a few of those but I think it's ok. They're my rules so I can break them if I want to.
Can I live stream the wedding? Then everyone can be there.
People best send their RSVPs though! Don't waste that stamp!

I don't know the point here. Take what you will from it. 

I f*cking love this book.

Have you ever sat down and truly read a cookbook? Neither have I. Until now.
I got this book from my BFF Lindsay/Weasel the other day and it's delightful as hell.

The intro is f*cking hilarious AND makes you want to make better choices. There are no animal products in this book, which I didn't even notice at first because everything simply looks and sounds delicious and healthy. I didn't think to look for meat and whatnot. 

They start off by giving you some beginner tips, a list of basic tools you'll want on hand, and common ingredients for many of their recipes. It seems that they kept the ingredients in mind as they put together this book because so many of them use similar staples so you're able to make many different things with the same stuff. Thanks for saving me a sh*tload of money guys!

In each recipe they also make notes for substitutions, alternate additions, or cooking tips. 

They simplify things and have a little bit of a different take on some things you may not cook with all that often. 

The language may not please everyone but it wouldn't be the same without it. I haven't even made anything in here yet but I can't wait to try! 

Silly girls, being silly.

June Garden Tour with the Moms

Changing the output.

Boulder County DA: Dynel Lane attacked Michelle Wilkins with lava lamp

When I first saw this article pop up on my newsfeed, before I'd even read it, I thought to myself: "God, I hate that woman."
It was automatic. It was pretty reasonable. It was understandable. 
Very quickly I stopped myself and the new thought was: "No...that's not what Michelle wants." 
Whatever Michelle's feelings about this woman are, they're certainly more complex than mine. 
I'm no Buddha, I'm not enlightened and crap. I hate plenty of people. Or I have at some point. It tends to go away after time. It just becomes less relevant, if nothing else. I'm outwardly emotional about things. I love stuff, I hate stuff. Moves, cookies, sandwiches, people, cars, animals, songs, chairs. Whatever. It's not really stuff that's important enough to earn a TRUE love or hate label. But I don't think there's anything wrong with professing my love to a cookie. If you feel it, then just tell the cookie you love it. Tell the thing you just stubbed your toe on that you hate it. Express yourself. 

But this...this is different. This person did something worthy of hate. It doesn't do any good though. Hating a person is kind of pointless. It doesn't actually help. 
Say you HATE getting mugged when you walk to your car at night so you do everything you can to avoid that...useful hate. 
I hate going to the ER because of my gallbladder so I'm managing my diet. Useful.

Hating a person does nothing. 

The quote I was trying to think of last time I talked to Michelle about this topic was: "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." (Pretty sure it's a Buddha thing.)

Nobody would blame anyone for being angry about the situation but wouldn't it do more good to not put energy in to that side of the equation? 

It has to do more good to think about the other side. We (Jason & I) love Michelle. She's lovely and kind. She likes Harry Potter. She's thoughtful and positive. And as Jason put it, she's like Wolverine; she can't be destroyed. 

We would have loved Aurora too. 

Sending hate out to this woman who changed the course of things is almost like taking away the love that should have been going to Aurora.

So instead of thinking about how much I dislike that woman for what she did for reasons that I'm not able to comprehend, I'm going to think about how much I support and care for Michelle because that brings both of us up and honors the memory of Aurora. You can't do all that with hate.

Tomorrow...tomorrow...

Life is feeling like an infinite loop of bullshit. Maybe because it sort of is. We have people telling us the same things over and over and over again and trying to dress it up as a generous offer or helpful in some way. Well it's not; and don't you dare say you understand what we're going through while you're throwing these dressed up words at us.
When you think you're at the bottom there's always someone to offer a shovel. Oh look, more bottom. At least if I had a big enough hole I could live in it in peace. People deserve peace.

I feel like there's a whole lot of people who talk about me instead of to me. Boy is that a pet peeve.
Hi. I'm right here. If you have something to say you could, I don't know, say it. If you want to know how I am, ask. If you don't want to know, delete me, ignore me, go the hell away or whatever. Don't judge my attitude without knowing the situation. If you can't do something to help or support then keep your nose out of it. I don't know what to say. It's very weird to me. I guess people just like to gossip. That's ok.

I'm getting pretty sick of being diplomatic. I try to make things as smooth as possible for life. People are in my way. There is an elephant stampede running over my parade. Meanwhile the world keeps spinning. No big deal. Just some crushed clowns and baton twirlers.

The world can keep trying to crush us but we will become COCKROACHES AND OUT LIVE THEM ALL. 

Adventures with Lola

You probably won't care about this unless you are my mother, Jay, or love Lola in some other obsessive fashion. But here she is in all her weirdness. She does not like wet things.

She was completely ignoring me at first but I guess she decided she'd be excited for a minute.

Don't have to pee that bad. 

Super busy right now. 

Spaz out time.

And now...back to work protecting the neighborhood from the Heating & AC guy, squirrels, and possible garage spirits. Oh and now the mailman.