I've been sick for days. It's exhausting having to focus to breathe. And what do I lay here worrying about? I worry about the house I'm unable to clean, the job that I'm postponing only a day (even though there's probably nothing to do), the job I'm going to struggle to finish, the money I need to put in the bank, the dog who is bored out of her mind. I'm so over this shit. With the exception of the dog, I don't care about any of it. Not one of those things is all that helpful to me other than the money I'll get to pay my bills which are usually not much use to me either. I just had a rage and then had an immediate deja vu which, to me, means I'm entirely correct in my rage. I don't want to do anything for anybody anymore. Not many people do anything for me so why would I spend my energy? I'm not actually upset, as I'm sure I sound, I'm just tired. Decisions need to be made some time. And it's not to say these things aren't good sometimes. They are helpful so I'm not homeless, or people giving me things to do to help out my finances--that's great, but right now I don't care. Coming back to life after 2 days of coma level activity is crap. I try to give my time and it doesn't work so if you want me or need me, you know where to find me. I'll be with my honey doing the shit we want to do.
Not that anyone will be looking. The people who might look, are the people who don't need to generally. If you're on my team, you probably know you are, if you aren't sure then it's likely you're not. There may be some neutrals but for now, I'm just going to ignore it all.
Not that anyone will be looking. The people who might look, are the people who don't need to generally. If you're on my team, you probably know you are, if you aren't sure then it's likely you're not. There may be some neutrals but for now, I'm just going to ignore it all.
