Theories from an 8-year-old

I just wanted to share this story with the few people that actually read my blog.

I went to dinner on Friday night with Dina and Ben and the boys. Well, kinda dinner...I had just finished eating when Dina called so I just went along for the company and the entertainment that usually comes with dining out with the gremlins.

Both boys say school is going fine, Tanner has lost a few more teeth, and Jordan is as weird as ever. He left to go to the bathroom before we left and naturally Dina had to retrieve him from the ladies room.

The main story here is from Tanner though. We were outside chatting by the car and we were talking about pets. Tanner claims that when they get a dog they will name it Dorko, Jordan suggested Chester. Tanner said they were going to get a big dog when they move into their new house, and it's going to be a girl.

He also told me the following: "They have to go into her tummy and plug up her poop hole so she can't have any babies."

I told him I didn't think that was quite the way it was done since she still had to be able to poop. Then, while Dina was trying to control her laughing fit, both gremlins started yelling things about "poop deck" and the hillarity of the situation was confirmed. It was very entertaining as always, and that ends my installment of Tanner theories for today.

Oops, missed one.

Bourne Ultimatum- It's the ultimate Bourne. ha! True though, it's just crazyness all over the place, Matt has like 4 lines and he spends the rest of his time driving into other cars, beating the hell out of people, and running. He's so sneaky.

I also just finished: Dead Silence- Pretty standard horror. Really ridiculous, but sufficiently creepy I suppose. Not worth much in general. It would fit in with the Sci Fi channel Saturday line-up quite nicely. (I LOVE Sci Fi weekends but it's almost all horrid crap.)

I'm so terribly far behind...

So, you're getting the short and sweet.

Three Amigos- Freakin' hillarious. A total comedy classic.

Bringing Up Baby- Quite funny in that Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn kind of way.

Goldeneye- Sean Bean. Young and evil. Awesome.

Pagemaster- I was doing a bit more chatting that watching, but it's very cute.

Soldier's Girl- Plot outline from IMDB: The true story of a young soldier beaten to death for falling in love with a transgendered nightclub performer. It's quite good, but obviously depressing.

Spiderman 3- I liked Peter when he was crazy, Sandman was super cool, and other than that it's your basic Spiderman movie, and MJ is annoying as ever.

The Thing (original)- Good for a classic monster movie but kinda boring.

Three Musketeers- I watched it because it's on my list but I can't remember a damn thing.

13 Ghosts- Still one of my favorite creepy movies. It's all about the monsters, they are really cool.

Poltergiest- It's a horror classic, and I recently discovered that it's quite funny. I had no idea.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers- It's totally ridiculous, a little bit gross, but fun to watch.

Toolbox Murders- Terrifically disgusting.

Dodgeball- Brilliant masterpiece. I could watch it over and over.

Pretty in Pink- I hadn't seen it for a while so I thought I should watch it again. It's nowhere as cool as Sixteen Candles or Breakfast Club but it's watchable.

24-Hour Party People- I watched it again because I forgot that I already saw it. It's not that great, but it's interesting. It could be better.

40-Year Old Virgin- The humor is blended in a very nice combination of lame boy humor, and plain funny stuff. Steve Carrell is too adorable.

Pirates of the Caribbean 3- Just as fun as the other 2. Nothing outdoes the first one, but I thought #3 was funny. They'll make at least another one.

Mr. Brooks- Awful. Just awful. I thought it could possibly not suck but I was wrong.

Shrek 3- Definitely better than #2, might be the best of the bunch.

1408- Predictable, and already been done. Crazy dad in a possessed hotel? Really? However, it was fun to watch, and I wasn't angry I paid to see it.

Die hard 4- Completely awesome. The best since the original. Had Alan made it to this one it would be the best thing ever. There's a clear line between reality and the land of Mclaine, but that's why it's so fun. The humor and action are equally distributed, which makes it very fun to watch.

The Simpsons Movie- Great. It's an extra long episode of the Simpsons with nudity. There's not really any wrong here.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix- Pales in comparison to The Goblet of Fire, but good on it's own. Not even comparible to the book of course, but a very fun movie. It's so much more fun the second time and after finishing book 7. I think it's the funniest movie so far.

The Invasion- One of the Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig projects. The movie was pretty good actually. It's not completely different from the 1978 Donald Sutherland movie, it's just less ridiculous since it's not the 1978 Donald Sutherland movie.... The whole body snatching virus this is pretty creepy.

And finally, last night's gem--

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon- it's about a group of students who are making a documentary about a man who is going to become the next Jason, Freddy, or Michael. It turns into a regular slasher flick by the end, but the beginning is hillarious. If you've ever laughed at a slasher movie you should definitely watch it. It shows the planning stage from the mind of the killer and he's damn funny. Basically cameos from Robert Englund and Zelda Rubenstein.