Nobody will know what that means but nobody reads this anyway so not a problem.
My house is messy. And it's so full of stuff. Why do I have all this stuff? I must do something about it. Of course if I trade in my little orange couch for my friend's giant cushy couch then it'll be even more packed full in here. But cushy. Another round of purging is on my mental to do list. I still miss my shack.
Fact is, I will always miss my shack. I try to keep the thought, that life will never be like it was, contained in a little box in my brain. But my brain makes a crappy box and it doesn't work at all.
One of my thoughtful friends recently was concerned about me getting hurt in just your average life stuff. I explained that nothing I get myself in to will ever be as bad as the horrible torture of being parted from those whom you love more than life itself. Loving things more than life itself comes with quite a disadvantage when you're not with them. As I said to Lindsay, one of my most beloved, we are a broken family and we always will be. But, life goes on even if there's not much of a point to it. With that in mind at all times I attempt normalcy...for ME anyway.
KJ normal is not regular normal but that's the only thing I have available that I can willingly embrace and enjoy. In the meantime I just find things that amuse me. Friends, movies, boys, booze, whatever. Not really good enough but...good enough.
I also wait for summer. Sun. Warm.
I've never had such a hatred for the cold yuckyness. I don't know what is different about this year but I'm about ready to pack up and get out. (I'm almost always ready for that but this is more specific.)
Strange and interesting complications give me a reason to keep tuning in for my next episode. Unfortunately they are a bit too interesting to be blogged about but feel free to find me for a private chat. :)
If I do something that seems questionable, that means it's worth the risk. This is something that SO many people have yet to learn of me. Soak it up. Please.
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