Have a pizza party

 As we all may be familiar the pizza party is often used as a tool to boost morale by those who enjoy our labor without adequate financial compensation. This is a temporary high. In that setting, it's a meal not morale. 

HOWEVER the pizza party has a very important role when it's not being used as a tool of capitalism to mimic joy and fulfillment. Every birthday as a kid required a pizza party, every cool day at school was a pizza party, some of us even earned pizza by reading books back in the day. We should probably bring that back, honestly. My first lunch date with my bestie of 20 years was pizza. I still have a hand-written recipe card from 7th or 8th grade home ec where we learned to make pizza crust. Why is it so relevant? Is it just me? 

My birthday at Chuck E. Cheese

You can still get me to do something by using pizza as a reward. Maybe the 1980s and '90s marketing was THAT good that it's simply ingrained in some of us that pizza=reward, but it's still sort of seen as a food of celebration. It's more festive than other foods. I don't make the rules. 

Yesterday we hosted some dear friends and their young children in our chaotic cat-filled house for an impromptu pizza party. It was proposed just a few short hours before with people who usually have to do a combination of voodoo, prayer, and calculus to find ways to spend time together because of busy schedules and life obligations. But on this auspicious day, we all had pizza together. Jason got to share some of his very cool toys, I got to share a new wine I'd wanted to try, we got to catch up, we got to share our goodwill amongst people worth sharing it with and WOW DO WE NEED MORE OF THAT.

Many of us are guilty of being "too busy", and rightfully so. The world is very demanding of us and we've really forgotten how to get in touch with a friend and just be together without having to make appointments. When I was a kid we'd ride our bike over and see who was home, or we'd call and ask if they could come over, we'd write notes between classes asking if they wanted to hang out at someone's house after school, we'd have parents come pick us up or we'd hop the bus to the mall (where we would get food court pizza. Don't get my started on how good that was). Our time spent together felt infinite. 

When did we decide we didn't do that anymore? No more pizza parties, no more sleepovers, no more fun for the sake of fun. We're adults now, we get to decide....and ~THIS~ is what we've decided!? Yuck. 

I will admit...my standards have changed. When I was a kid and someone came to the door it was VERY EXCITING to see who was there. Was it mail, a friend, a surprise? Who knows. Now? If you come to my door without notice (if you see my face at all) you're likely to see this face... 

From Black Books, one of the greatest shows of all time. 

I don't love that this is my response but I might not be wearing pants so...just cut me some slack. I'm trying to be more prepared for the day to happen to me. It's going moderately ok, I guess? (I've literally changed my daily routine so that I can be more functional in the day. I won't bore you with the details but it's been kinda helpful, though not without imperfections.) I could also talk about reasons why neurodivergent people have less friends so they don't have to plan things but I'll save that for another inspired day. 

My other caveat here is that the only reason I've been able to do some fun chill things lately is that I've had time off from work. Otherwise my body is exhausted. I'm too exhausted to find joy. That's bullshit and I don't want that anymore. I'm still an agent of capitalism so I'm finding ways to adjust. Work in progress. 

The important point of all this is that sometimes you need to do nothing at all together. Don't plan it, don't curate it, don't make a thing of it. Just do it. (Brb I have to send Nike a dollar.) We don't have to fill every moment of every day but WE GET TO CHOOSE OUR MOMENTS. Why do we choose so poorly? Geez. Yes, some of them are chosen for us but the ones we get to choose are the ones we should use wisely. When we were kids we dreamed of all the decisions we'd get to make and we messed up. We've got to find ways to get that back. Make decisions that would make 12-year-old you feel like a friggin badass grown-up. Dump obligations off your plate-you can't do everything, take a night off from worry-it'll still be there, ignore emails-seriously..., clear a seat for a friend and order a pizza*. 

(*Jason doesn't get to eat pizza but he was fed and it did not diminish our joy. If pizza doesn't work for you, do your thing.)