FREE HUGS

Do you know what touch deprivation is? It's also called touch starvation, which I think is weird and overly dramatic but it's often used. 

Touch deprivation was a topic when we were more in the midst of isolation, but it's always around. There are many people who don't care for much physical touch out and about in the world and actively avoid it, but there are also people who just have more solitary lives for any number of reasons. It's a human thing. (I imagine it's probably an animal thing, in general, but my point is that we're all naturally effected.)  

When we were most distanced we missed out on hugging loved ones, that one is obvious, but there are also other things like a pat on the shoulder, handshakes, high fives, whatever. I'd imagine teachers who work with young children would have noticed it somewhat, since they're prone to more pats and pokes and whatnot. 

Whether it's on purpose or for safety sake, touch deprivation can have negative effects on anyone. I may be the most socially touchy person within hundreds of miles--we're not always super into affectionate things here in the midwest. When we had to be isolated it was definitely noticeable, but it's still a factor. 

I'm not a scientist but here is my hypothesis and assumptions. Because I was severely touch deprived for my first many weeks of life, I believe I'm more sensitive to it. I didn't realize it when I was younger, but I don't know if that's because I didn't think of it or know of it, or if it has changed as I've gotten older. I also had more family contact as a kid. I saw grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins more. I obviously lived with a parent, I was around more young people, and I think you typically get more kinds of affection and physical touch just playing as a child than as an adult. 

I think with my predisposition to it, plus pandemic, it's extremely noticeable now. I don't know if it will decrease as we get more "back to normal" or if I'm just stuck with it now. Who knows. 

The effects of touch deprivation are increased stress, anxiety, depression, higher blood pressure and heart rate, muscle tension, and a less robust immune system...among others. I kinda already have all that floating around but pandemic times did not help. I'm 100% certain it's part of why my blood pressure has increased, as well as general anxiety. Like, there's been a LOT of other contributing factors for increased stress and there was a confluence of wackadoo things all around the same time but this is one of them. I think also I have some lingering Covid things that are just pissing me off and it's all a bundle of annoyance. 

It's quite an unpleasant and maybe indescribable sensation. I've read many things about it describing the effects it has, but never what it FEELS like. I want to say my skin hurts? Though I can't say it's truly painful... It's almost like constant feeling the texture of your skin is changing, like your changing into something else...some other substance that's not human skin. Ya know?? Wut? 

Part of why I have been pondering it more lately is because on my spring break trip I got soooo many extra hugs. My body was so grateful to be out of that desert and into the hug oasis. I got bear hugs, tall hugs, mom hugs, kids hugs, skinny hugs, fluffy hugs, all the hugs. I get hugs at home too, of course, but not to that level. I don't think my cats count since it's just rage hugs with them. So angry but so fluffy and cute. Pets do help, if they're occasionally snuggly. 

Only mildly related to this is that I sure miss my grandma's hugs. (Grandma Jessie. The Johnson's aren't robust huggers, myself excluded.) Do people have signature hugs? I think so. It's hard to find another like one you're so familiar with. You have to be approximately the same size and shape, with the same level of huggyness. Then there's the smell of the person, the level of joy for the hug, what else? That's a whole different tangent. 

So, what's my point? I dunno. It was just in my brain and I needed to make room because it's too full in there. My bonus point is- hug people when you can. Hold hands. Sit close. Sniff your friends. Whatever. It's for their health. 

Supplemental Log: (Because I got impatient and forgot a thing, and I also had a shower realization.)

1) Men are more prone to touch "starvation" than women. I assume that's because they are typically less affectionate but also women are typically doing more of the family caregiving, which would result in more physical contact. On the flip side, I figure this is also what contributes to women being more prone to being touched out. No mas. Leave mama alone. Ask them, they'll tell you. 

Moral of that: Toxic masculinity is killing you. Do better fathers, for your children.

Shower realization: The last time I had a very specific bout of this was when I moved away from Hays. I left all of my friends and two little bity boys who utilized Taffy like a piece of playground equipment.