Movie Reviews Gone Wild

The Hitcher starring Sean Bean.

Totally worth seeing for me. Sean is a bad ass and someone gets pulled apart by trucks. Awesome. If you hear that and don't go "COOL!" then I wouldn't recommend it.

The Queen, starring Helen Mirren.

Helen IS the Queen. She won an Oscar for a very good reason. The movie doesn't sound all that great if you don't care much about the Queen, but it's more than that. It really shows that she's a person, and not just a Queen. You'll think of her in a whole different way. And the Queen Mum is pretty funny. If you're at all interested in politics and the nastyness of the public mob then I think you would like it.

Number 23, starring Jim Carrey and that awful blonde woman.

Fun, but completely absurd. I was impressed by Jim the movie just could have been better. I liked the story though. Not bad for a weekend rental or something, but not a must-see.

300, starring Gerard Butler and David Wenham.

Totally f*$&in' awesome. One of the coolest movies I've seen....ever. The CGI is awesome and the dudes run around in their underwear. It is seriously an all around excellent movie. And yes it's kind of bloody, it's about Spartans and war for Pete's sake.

Now for the old ones....

How to Murder Your Wife, starring Jack Lemmon.

Very bizarre, but entertaining. It's pretty unique. Jack Lemmon is fun even though he's an idiot. The whole movie is extremely sexist from both sides but that's kind of the point.

A Bucket of Blood, starring no one anyone would know.

Strange movie. It's a great horror premise it's just in a cheap movie. Decent enough to watch though.

Anchors Aweigh, starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra.

Excellent fun. Frank is a wee thing and just so cute. It's a classic that one must see at some point to feel complete. They even spoofed it on Family Guy so it must be good.

Some Came Running, starring Frank, Dean Martin, and Shirley Maclaine.

It's pretty depressing but Frank is there, Dean is there and Shirley is adorable. I'd watch it even if it sucked.

On the Town, starring Gene and Frank.

It's Anchors Aweigh the rough draft. Watching Gene do anything is enjoyable.

Phantasm, starring unknown people. (And Angrus Scrimm.)

Not too bad actually.... Really lame horror with really dumb stuff and weird people. But The Tall Man is cool and the people are actually likeable for some reason. It's adaquately scary when watched right before bed. Not at all terrifying, but it's memorable.

Hellraiser, starring Pinhead of course.

Disturbing for all kinds of reasons and I'd totally watch it again. It's so lame that it's almot awesome. The lady in the 80's attire is almost as scary as the guy with no skin.

Notorious, starring Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains and Cary Grant.

Pretty typical spy movie I think. It moves a bit slow but it's another classic. It's worth watching if you care about such things. And it's Ingrid and Carey, that's like Gene and Frank. You just watch it.

Frankenstein, starring Robert De Niro, Helena Bonham Carter, and Kenneth Branaugh.

Oh yeah, and Pinto from Animal House. Because we can definitely take him seriously.

The movie was pretty cool. It's very different from the old one, but it's a nice update. It shows a different, more sophisticated, version of Frankenstein but he's just as sad as Boris was in the original. Kenneth walks around without his shirt on for a while so that's pretty cool.

Ocean's 11, starring Frank, Dean, Sammy, Peter, and Joey.

Of course I've seen it before but I just watched it again recently.

It's such a brilliant movie. The new guys are alright lads but even they can't compare.

Noises Off, starring John Ritter, Michael Caine, Carol Burnette, Christopher Reeve and several other people.

I've seen this one before too but I just love the movie. It's hillarious and if you think about it it's extremely impressive that they got all those people to do all of that stuff. John Ritter is my favorite character and he doesn't ever say anything of any use. But that's why he's funny. It's like a prolonged Three Stooges skit. It's brilliant.

Mighty Aphrodite, starring Mira Sorvino and Woody Allen.

Much better than I thought it would be. I quite liked it. Both Woody and Mira both somehow seem charming and kind of pitiful. The use of the chorus adds a lot to the movie. Nobody else has ever done anything like that on film before. It's a stage thing. It's worth seeing if you haven't.

When Harry Met Sally, starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal.

Also better than I thought it would be. Lovely, charming little movie. Everyone is young and adorable.

Penny Serenade, starring Cary Grant.

It's construction is ok, but it's terribly depressing.

His Girl Friday, starring Cary Grant.

It's supposed to be super funny, it doesn't quite get there though. It's a bit too much crazyness. It's fun but not as good or as funny as it could have been. Wonderful banter, but I need more than that.

Pal Joey, starring Frank Sinatra, Rita Hayworth and Kim Novak.

Frank and two ladies, what a surprise. The movie is awesome of course, but it's not all that believable. I'd take Kim over Rita any day. I don't see the issue here... Classic Frank though.

2001: A Space Odyssey, starring the talking computer.

I was fully impressed. I was bored at the same time but I couldn't stop watching. I think that if they made it now it wouldn't look any better than the original does. Genius camera work and the computer is pretty cool. The whole thing is just really well done, classis sci-fi. Don't watch if you have vertigo issues. It made me dizzy.

Nanny McPhee, starring Emma Thompson and Coin Firth.

Bad kids learn a lesson, Emma gets pretty, bad kids become good kids. It's pretty entertaining actually. Everyone gets what they deserve in the end. If that's your cup of tea then you can give this a try. The colors in the film are quite effective. I don't know why they did it but it has a very cool look. It's a little Lemony Snicket-ish. Nanny McPhee is like the count's nice sister.