Long Beach Finale

Just a bit from the end of my trip.
We tried another Dirtbag's game and it was much less soggy than the first. We kicked butt and got a spot in the College World Series. I believe they promptly fell back out but they got there.

We gave the kids a bath one day. I don't remember when. We made pillows too, but that was a few days before. I don't remember if I mentioned it. It was a task to find the Joanne store. There is this phantom moving road in Long Beach that just will not allow you to get to the store.
Anyway, Wilson got grumpy and stuck his face in the corner. But he was so soft when we were done.


We went to Signal Hill/Peak/something and that was pretty cool. You can see all of Long Beach, some of the islands and beaches, and L.A. There were little educational signs and after all the rain and such we had some very nice not-so-smoggy views.

We went to the Queen Mary, which is probably the coolest boat ever. I haven't been on that many boats I guess, but this one is cool. It's one of the most haunted places and it doesn't give you much reason to doubt. Right next to it is the Russian Scorpion submarine. It's awesome just from the outside. I'd love to go back and see the inside.

The smokestacks were the best part. Well aside from the anchor. And the ghost stories. I just think they are awesome. They are freakin gigantic. If you click in the informative sign it will tell you how big they are.

My last evening there we went back to Shoreline Village, my favorite place. We did some shopping, listened to a band that was there promoting itself, and ate too many fried bread products. It was so fantastic. Then we went to have pizza with Katie and company. We went to an awesome candy store, the most awesome ever. They had Mars bars and everything that exists in the world of candy. We went to Pinkberry which is a strange little place but pretty neat. It has frozen yogurt but it is more like yogurt that is cold rather than the frozen yogurt that is pretty much ice cream. You can get fruit or nuts, and even Fruity Pebbles mixed in. I was full of pizza at the time so I just tasted Audra's but you know I would have had to get the Fruity Pebbles. After that we went to The Beach store so I could get some Long Beach State souvenirs. Who doesn't want a Dirtbags t-shirt? I know I did.

This is finally the end of my Long Beach ramblings. No one else is likely to care that much but I like to think about what I did while I was there. It was one of my favorite vacations. Audra cooked for me, I got to meet Wilson, I was chaufered around L.A., and got awesome seats at a Dodger's game. As far as California goes, you can't get much better than that in my opinion.

George Carlin 1937-2008

Update: In 2023, Google decided that this post went against Community Guidelines, even though there's nothing here that goes against any specific Community Guideline. So, BEWARE of being TRAUMATIZED by strong language on the internet instead of worrying about actual harmful stuff. 

"Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits"

He never had a routine about words you can't blog.

George was the first person to host SNL. I did not know that until now.

Long Beach: Episode 3

Dodgers Game-- Dodgers vs. Cardinals. Aside from seeing Audra and meeting the family, this is what I was most excited about.

I'm pretty sure the Cardinals won 4-0.

Before the game we went to a Mexican place, met Audra's friends Kelly and Kevin, and ate chips and salsa while we were waiting for the bar to open. It was just across the street. I THINK it's called the Short Stop. They have cheap beer when there's home games. I didn't drink beer, I drank rum and Coke, naturally. My friends kept a glass in my hand. It was very nice of them. John and I chatted about British shows. What more can a girl ask for?

I remember there was a nickle in the toilet in the ladies room. There was some discussion on how to get it out of there and what would be the least gross way to do so and if it would be worth it. Raul is a pioneer for all abandoned coins.

After my rum and Coke I needed an Irish Car Bomb so I got Kevin and the bartender to join me and it was a beautiful moment. Audra didn't have faith. She didn't think I could do it. We've been apart too long. After the booze we wandered our way up a gigantic (at the time) hill to Dodger's stadium.

Once there we found the photo people. From what I remember it went something like this--

Lady: Do you want to take a picture?

Raul: Uuhh...

Lady: It'll be fun.

Raul: OK!

Then there was running so I just followed and jumped into the green screen shot. It's one of those things where they stick you in the middle of the field. Technology is great. And the pictures turned out great. They are a complete rip-off at $25 for a few pictures but they were too fantastic for me to pass up. It's my favorite momento from the trip. The boys look nuts and Audra looks saucy. I'm just sort of there.

This isn't it, but aren't they all so cute?

Our seats were fantastic. The whole thing was great fun. There was a funny drunk lady and we ate Kettle Corn. I didn't enthusiastically cheer for the Dodgers. I was already wearing a Dodgers shirt, I can only go so far into enemy territory. But I got to see good old Juan Pierre again. He used to be a Rockie. He's Juanderful....

Now I own a shirt I can only wear during the winter. But it was worth it to get into the spirit. I tried to Think Blue but it was kinda purpley.

I love this joke every time.

Penguins Go to the Zoo

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."

Long Beach: Episode 2

Saturday was L.A./Dodgers Day- We went to pick up Raul's pal John somewhere in or near L.A. which is not quite an hour away(?) So, just as we pull up to get John, Raul says to Audra something along the lines of "I assume you have the Dodgers tickets." Guess it's probably something we should have checked before we left the house rather than when we get an hour away... Audra didn't have the tickets but she bought them online so we were hoping to be able to retrieve them through her email. So we were on a quest for a Kinkos, and in the mean time my tour guides (John and Raul) drove around L.A. pointing out things that might be interesting. We went to In & Out for burgers, which were fabulous. Best burgers next to Good Times. Unfortunately neither of which you can get most places. We did find a Kinkos and print out of Dodgers tickets. All was well. It was funny.






We saw a few Scientology compounds. One was specifically for celebrities and it said so on the sign. It was very much like a fort. We saw the sidewalk stars. It's less impressive when you realize the stars are everywhere, like in front of a Bed, Bath, and Beyond. But it's still cool. There was the Guinness Records place, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, the Wax Museum, Kodak Theatre, Chinese Theatre, an abundance of tattoo parlors and shops of a questionable nature. We just did the drive through tour and in a few places that was more than sufficient. In addition to all the cinematic and world record fun, we saw: a guy peeing, a guy possibly having seizures in the street, a variety of drug addicts/dealers, and I assume a few good old fashioned L.A. prostitutes. But they were on a different street. John pointed out several places where they shot this movie and that movie. I don't remember most of them though. We also saw tons of really awesome houses. They might be crammed in there, but they are very cool. And of course we went to the Hollywood sign. There was the rock throwing entertainment, which you can read more about on Audra's blog. We climbed around on a hill, took some pictures of the sign and then went on our way. Then it was off to prepare for the Dodgers game!

Long Beach: Episode 1

Arrival, May 22nd: As I was leaving Denver, while we were driving to the airport we were more or less surrounded by tornadoes. I saw a small one in a field, which really makes one feel confident when boarding a smallish plane. The flight out was not all that pleasant. I went from Denver to Salt Lake to Long Beach. Flying in to Long Beach was not overly pleasant either. California was not its usual sunny self.
Audra and Raul came and picked me up from the tiny Long Beach airport and there were hugs a plenty and all was well. I was on the ground and with my best girl. We went to Shoreline Village (which, as it turns out, was my favorite place) and after a quick stop at a Pirate store, we ate at the Yardhouse. It has a massive list of beer on tap, some kind of world record or something. And the food is fabulous. We got to eat out on the patio even though it was apparently FREEZING by California standards. It's kind of worth it if you get to watch the sun set over the ocean.
After dinner we went home and I got to meet my nephew for the first time--

This is Wilson. Oh he's my little buddy. Look at the face. He's so squishy and cuddly. He's a little bit "special" but I love him more to make up for it. He's a good fella and we became friends quickly.

Wilson's keeper is Sugar. She's a big lady with a tail that could injure a small child. If she had a pinky her papa Raul would be wrapped tightly around it. She's a lot of fun, good with the tug of war and can chew things to impossibly tiny bits in record time.
That evening we ate ice cream and tried to watch Indiana Jones but like the party animals that we are, we pretty much all fell asleep about half way through.


On day 2, I remember waking up and watching the (early) morning news about all the California tornadoes that were flying around. Again, just about as I was flying in. No wonder the flights sucked! Mother nature was in a mood. Later that day we went to see the Long Beach Dirtbags play...someone, Fullerton maybe? Yes, Dirtbags is the actual name. I have a shirt to prove it. I discovered while I was there that Troy Tulowitzki is a former Dirtbag. I had no idea. Audra and I met her friend Katie and Katie's lovely sister, whose name I can't remember. Katie, embracing the California weather was wearing a puffy North Face coat. There was chippys everywhere in giant coats and hats and gloves and scarves. It was amusing. I don't remember now if the Dirtbags won or not. They were in it for the College World Series playoffs so it was a big deal. We left early though...

First there was a mist...then sprinkling, then rain, then more rain. My knees were very damp. We decided to move up a bit and attempt to wait out the 30 minute rain delay. However...when we moved up, we were just under the awning where not only the rain could still reach us but the excess water was flowing off the roof right to our seats. The row behind us was totally dry.
With all the fun we could stand and wet pants we decided to head home and dry off. There were raging curb rivers to cross and Audra being the hurdler among us fared pretty well. I accepted my wet footed fate. My pants were falling down because they were so full of rain. But, naturally the entire situation was hillarious to me and I didn't mind all that much.
It probably would have been disappointing and surprising if I had an absolutely normal trip to California. That would be so unlike us.
More to come....

For more stories, visit Audra's blog-
http://audrasmith.blogspot.com/2008/05/miss-locks-and-lots-of-rain.html
http://audrasmith.blogspot.com/2008/05/lots-of-little-things-for-big-weekend.html

Beginning of summer- part 1

We'll just start with the end of school and go from there. I'm no longer a full-time Tiger. School is out, and I hope I never have to do anything else that takes so long. I could go on a rant about what a rip-off and a waste of time it is, but I'll restrain myself. The important thing is that I am done. I thought I'd put up some pictures from the party. Judy and Katie hosted a party for me and Sister Alice. I graduated with a BGS, Alice is now a master of theology I believe.

The grads- I made hats for us since neither of us did the silly ceremony.

My guest list included- (aside from Alice, Katie, and Judy) Eric, Skyla, Jarrod, Sharla Hutchison, Lexey Bartlett, Dr. Goodlett (aka Uncle Dave) and Ana.

Jarrod wins for weirdest picture of the evening... I love it.

My buddy Ana. She did a wonderful job decorating my hat.

We ate hotdogs, we chatted, we ate more food, we laughed. I think everyone had a good time, but then I don't remember a time when we haven't.

Next up: Trip to Long Beach to visit Audra.

California did something right.

That's pretty cool. I guess they don't do everything wrong but it's just a weird place.

I'll be there in a week to visit Audra, which is very exciting.

I'll just be missing Long Beach Pride though. I suspect this year will be even more spectacular since those who wish to do so can LEGALLY GET MARRIED!! Take that you homophobic fuckheads. It will surely add some festive feelings to the party.

Getting married is still a weird thing to do but not allowing people to make that disasterous decision on their own is against every god damn thing our country is supposed to be gung-ho about. Other states will soon follow and those that are against it can just sew their lips shut.

I love Kansas.

Because I love my Kansas friends.

I'd like to say I wish I could take them all with me, but I kind of would rather bring civilization to them. Once you get over the lack of shopping and culture (other than German), it's just fine here. We have the best thunder storms. If it were not for the devil's humidity, I would love Kansas summers. As it is, I only love Kansas springs. But most importantly I have a superior posse, which I usually do.

I have the McGyvers-Judy and Katie. And our nights at Joe's with Alice and Martha.
And Sheena Beena! (Which includes the fellas, Phil and Damian.)
History Club Posse- Eric, Skyla, Daniel, Goodlett (and little Goodlett, AKA Ana.)
My pets- Stasya and Jarrod.
The scholarly types, not so much "pals", but people that I am very fond of- Amy C., Dr. Bartlett, Kim P., Sharla and Sweetpea, Dr. Duffy, Dr. Geo, and even Todd and Singleton.

It makes you consider that maybe there was more reason to set The Wizard of Oz in Kansas than just for a tornado. As creepy as it may be, the midwest is unique. The warm and friendly nature of many its inhabitants are lovely things to be surrounded by. Sure, there's no shortage of jackasses and morons, but that's life. At least out here it's not generally all that hip to make a habit of being pretentious and snobby. Uptight, yes, but not rude.

We had a good night.

Hopefully I'll have time to write more about them soon.

Another Iron Man Note...

I forgot to mention this earlier...
One of the keys to Iron Man's success is this--leave the angst out of the story. Thank god. You know how in Spider-Man, the whole MJ thing is just annoying an whiney? Well in Iron Man the movie is about....ADULTS! It's amazing what a couple decades can do to un-lame a story.
Basically, there aren't any children in the movie. There are grown-ups. In this example, it leads to a more enjoyable story minus any dumbass love triangles or whining. It's sooo much better that way.
Just FYI.

Iron Man

Who would have thought that Robert Downey Jr. would make a superior super hero? He's brilliant and completely perfect for the part. All the actors fit quite well for their intended purposes. I hope and assume we'll see more of them later.

I must say that I prefer Iron Man to Spidey at this point. (Katie is the Marvel expert, but I do believe this is the best of the bunch as of late.)

This was a fun movie to watch. I wish there would have been more of it. But, for those that are smart enough to STAY FOR THE CREDITS, this won't be the last we see of good old Iron Man. It looks to be a very exciting beginning of things to come. Now we can hope that they don't screw up the sequels.

New study: 58 percent of black children can't swim

So that might be one of the weirdest headlines ever but I suppose it's true. It hadn't occurred to me to think about this.
However, the article has a valid point. That being, "Black children drown at a rate almost three times the overall rate." That's not good. Teach your kids to swim people. And a good percent of Hispanic children can't swim either. What happens if someone falls in a pool? Just hope there's some white folks to rescue them? That's not a good plan for any situation. We rarely save things, we generally make it worse. Anywho, it's just an odd statistic I guess. We're all just getting fatter, maybe the kids should be learning to swim for several reasons...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080501/ap_on_re_us/swimming_blacks

Another epiphany...housekeeping?

It's my second in a month. Not bad.
I am.....Tommy Girl. I also like the perfume, but that's a different matter entirely. The movie is a comedy classic. I guess I am a bit of a combination between Tommy and Richard, but you should see my point if you know me at all.
I'll provide quotes to prove it:
Tommy: Did you hear I finally graduated?
Richard Hayden: Yeah, and just a shade under a decade too, all right.
Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard Hayden: I know, they're called doctors.

Tommy: I got a D+! I'm gonna graduate!

Tommy: You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up, cos I'll come over there, and jam an oar up your ass!

Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?
Richard Hayden: No, your face does.

And the best part of the whole movie-
Tommy: Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks! I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel into a Goddamn bridge abutment!

The Forbidden Kingdom

The film isn't getting great reviews but that's greatly from the side of the critics from what I can tell. I, on the other hand, thought it was quite fun. I like Jackie Chan, he's funny and he can defy gravity. Jet Li isn't as entertaining as an actor but he's just as awesome with the kung fu moves. (Probably more awesome technically but I'm not an expert.) I read one review somewhere that said "Finally and Jet Li and Jackie Chan movie! But with someone else's story." Well, get over it. English is not high on the list of Jet's talents and really how much Jackie do we need to hear? I thought it was a perfect vehicle to get us to where we needed to be. Transitions are weak and yes the story is semi-ridiculous but since when have kung fu movies been about anything but the action? You don't go see a movie starring two of the greatest martial arts actors to get deep dialogue. You go to see what magic they can do.

As always, people have not yet learned to go watch a damn movie for what it is and not what they had in mind. If you think you can do better, then please go do so.

I recommend this if you want a lot of action but not a lot of violence. If you can figure out what that is. It's not too often that we get a whole lot of butt kicking with a minimum of blood. I believe that we can thank the Asians for that. The scenery is lovely as well. And I like the story, I don't care if it's predictable and goofy.

Killing things- The new art.

When Dexter kills people, it is art. But he's on TV. Actually doing it is less artistic.

This is from the blog petitioning against his newest "creation". Apparently someone liked his first dead dog so much that they are going to allow him to do it again.

http://guillermohabacucvargas.blogspot.com/

Guillermo Habacuc Vargas admits on his new created MySpace page, that he indeed killed the dog!
Here is a part of his original [most recent] statement:"Hello everyone. My name is Guillermo Habacuc Vargas. I am 50 years old and an artist. Recently, I have been critisized for my work titled "Eres lo que lees", which features a dog named Nativity. The purpose of the work was not to cause any type of infliction on the poor, innocent creature, but rather to illustrate a point. In my home city of San Jose, Costa Rica, tens of thousands of stray dogs starve and die of illness each year in the streets and no one pays them a second thought.
Now, if you publicly display one of these starving creatures, such as the case with Nativity, it creates a backlash that brings out a big of hypocrisy in all of us. Nativity was a very sick creature and would have died in the streets anyway.

So, he's completely correct of course. Just look for it and you'll find people freaking out all over the place because he's killing things. But they aren't freaking out over the dog that's dead on the other side of the wall in the alley. *This is the problem.* People are only upset because it is being sensationalized. Otherwise would we pay attention to one dead dog in South America? Absolutely not.

On the other hand, I think this guy is a jackass and he should be tied up in the corner. If he was using humans I'd be ok with it but the dog has no choice in the matter. Doing something to make a point is useful but watching something die instead of helping is karmically problematic and cruel in general.

Is he making a point? Yes. Is it effective? Yes. Is it art? Not in the slightest. Art implies talent. This is not talent. All it proves is that he knows how to tie a knot. This should not be encouraged. He's made his point. Something died that he could have easily prevented, which I suppose is what we should all be thinking about.

Get your damn pets fixed!!

Front Page News (Only in Hays)

This is our new hangout. I'm hoping it'll get some more regulars soon. But until then.....looky, I'm in the paper.

Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!

Charlton Heston 1924-2008

He was an interesting, and kinda nutty man who I really don't agree with in so many areas. However, his contribution to film is undeniable. He created memorable and unique characters for some of the greatest and grandest movies of all time.
Here's to Chuck.

6 Lessons for a Happier Life, from Christophe Andre

1. Accept that there will be unpleasant things in life. All the time, every day, you'll face hinderances: You'll be too late or make a mistake or say something stupid. It's the rent you pay to live in the house of life. It's part of life. There's no point in being disappointed when things don't go your way.

2. Open your eyes and look around. There are more opportunities for happiness than you think, certainly for a Westerner in 2008. Embrace the moments. Try to remember them. Enjoy them.

3. Take time out. The ability to pause, mentally as well as in your actions, is important. Taking breaks is a prerequisite for experiencing happiness.

4. Pay attention to your family and friends. Social ties are important for happiness. Don't let a day go by without thinking of, or seeing, someone you love.

5. Try to get in touch with nature every day. Take a walk in the park and spend a few minutes looking at nature.

6. Express your gratitude and respect for the good things you experience. Being thankful makes you happy and increases the chance of social connection.

No Country For Old Men

Dude. Wow. I assumed that, at the very least, Javier's nomination was well earned.

The man was born in, and came falling out of, a freakin' awesome tree.

There are a few things that make this movie so brilliant--for one, there is relatively little dialogue. And when they do talk, it's not drivel, it has meaning and then another layer of meaning. It's strangely humorous, but that's the Coen's for you.

I haven't seen too many of the other big nominated movies but I'm glad this was a Oscar success. It's a masterful piece of art. As far as the movies are concerned we're getting deeper and deeper into an abyss of fluff and nonsense. There's a place for that of course but some of us are thankful that there are still true artists out there. Well done and bravo. (And MAN is Javier a bastard, he's so...great!)